Conflict

I went to a session about conflict on the weekend. A couple of my friends were going and one of them invited me to go as well. It was held at my former church. My first thought when the speaker began talking was that I don’t really feel that I have a big problem with conflict. Either that or I’m just very good at avoiding it. My friend and I were talking about how even when we were roommates we never really had any problems with conflict. Most of the time if I have a problem with something I think about whether it really matters in the grand scheme of things. Usually it doesn’t. The things that bother people are often just little issues. I also often look to myself to find out if I’m the problem or if it actually is the other person. I either decide that it’s my issue or I’m just not sure and so I let it go anyway. Sometimes I worry that I’m just avoiding conflict but I don’t feel like I have anger or frustration pent up so I don’t really think that I do. She did mention that we all have conflict every day. The slow grocery teller, the annoying dog owners that let their dogs run in front of you or jump up at you or even bite your arm while your running, the people that smoke in areas that I can’t avoid so that I have to breathe in their disgusting smoke, (ok maybe I do have a little issue with conflict) the driver that cuts you off… I guess I hadn’t really thought of those things as conflict but I can see that they are. The session is in two parts with the next one being mid-April. That’s when we learn more about how to deal with conflict. I’ll try to keep running during the on-leash hours at the park until then.
Remember how I mentioned how great people are and how much I appreciate the things that people do for me? Well several days ago one of my friends texted me to see if my car was running again and to offer me her car while she is away on holidays. She doesn’t have a junky (as my niece and nephew call it) car like mine. She has a nice new vehicle that even has heated seats! I don’t need to take her up on the offer but I’m amazed again at how kind, thoughtful and caring people are.
My basic counselling skills class is almost over. I think that we have 3 classes left. Last week we finished up with our session where we practice counselling each other. I’m glad that I no longer have to think of a problem to talk about every week but I’m going to miss the sessions. At first they were difficult and stressful and I felt totally incompetent. I stressed about doing a good job and getting it just right. Now it still isn’t exactly easy but it’s not stressful anymore. I used to have a million thoughts going through my head the whole time and I couldn’t think clearly but now I find that my thoughts are more organized and I can think and speak at the same time. That’s always helpful. I had decided that I wasn’t going to continue with the program that this course is a prerequisite for but now I’m wondering if I really don’t want to. I need to figure out if it’s what I want to do or if I just don’t want the class to be over.
I have been enjoying my volunteering lately. I stopped helping at the thrift store when I started my short stint with the bread company. I could start back there again but I’ve started helping one evening a week serving food, giving out clothing and praying with the people. I was also allergic to the air freshener at the thrift store. The last time that I was there it must have been a new one because it was bothering me all day and I left there with a terrible headache. I often have trouble with perfumes. It’s really annoying because I feel like a crazy person complaining about scents and perfumes. I used to think that maybe I was just overreacting and being too sensitive and that it was my issue and I had to just let it go and get over it. But then I started using an allergy nasal spray one summer. All of a sudden I found that while I could still recognize scents that normally bothered me they no longer had the same effect. I used to get grumpy and annoyed, I’d get headaches at times and would sneeze and get a runny nose at other times. When I was on the allergy spray I didn’t get grumpy or suffer the other symptoms. But since I don’t like putting medication into my body if I don’t have to I tend to only use the spray during spring and summer. The rest of the year I have to avoid certain scents. Anyway, back to the volunteering. This week they put me on ‘prayer requests’ for the night. The other two weeks that I’ve been there they have put me in the kitchen serving food. You have minimal contact with the people in the kitchen because you are basically just handing the food to them and then they wander off. But prayer requests is a totally different story. I asked every single person in line if they had any prayer requests and wrote them down if they had any. It was a little out of my comfort zone but something that I was ok with doing. I then just stood around for a while so that anyone else that had a request could come to me and let me know. After a while one of the leaders came over to check on me. He asked me about whether I was comfortable praying with people. I told him that I’m not very comfortable praying out loud with people but that it’s something that I would like to be more comfortable with. The rest of the night he basically kindly and gently pushed me out of my comfort zone. He had me praying for people with him and also walking amongst the people praying for them silently in my head. He helped me to watch the people and to listen to whether God was prompting me to pray for anyone specific. It was a good night. I need that kind of thing. I was thinking on my way home that I don’t have many people in my life that really push me outside of my comfort zone. It is something that I want but most people are too kind and don’t like to ‘force’ things on people. I wish that they would more often. Although there are times when I’m not very open to it. I’m looking forward to continuing with this volunteering and hopefully to continue being gently pushed out of my comfort zone.
It looks like I might have to wait a while before I can do my first skydive of the year. The forecast is for rain for basically forever. I had been hoping to do a jump on Sunday but it was too cloudy. I then thought that maybe I could do one this week if they were taking anyone up or even this coming weekend but it isn’t looking very promising. Well maybe I’ll be lucky and we’ll have sunshine the following weekend. The longer I have to wait the longer I have to think about my next jump and the more nervous I will likely get. Last year my heart was racing the day of my first jump of the year. I don’t think that I’ll be nearly as nervous this year but you never know. I still need to find someone to go to the indoor wind tunnel with me soon. I’d love to do that while I’m waiting for the weather to improve.
I got a call today about a possible job. I have an interview on Wednesday. It’s not a perfect job but it might be a good place to get my foot in the door for possible future opportunities.
I am skipping another run this week. I did my ‘easy’ run on Tuesday and then I used the weight machines at the gym. I had planned to do my harder run on Wednesday but when I woke up I didn’t feel great. I was sore, I guess from the weight machines. It wasn’t a good sore either. So, I decided that I’d listen to my body and skip another run. I feel like a bit of a wimp but I think that it’s best to listen to my own body instead of thinking about how much other people seem to be able to do without any problems. I’m going to try to do my long run tomorrow. Most likely it will be pouring rain. I’m hoping to do 30k.

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