I love kids.  I’ve spent plenty of time with kids this week between volunteering with the middle school kids at church, babysitting my niece and nephew and spending time at my mom’s while she was babysitting her boyfriend’s grand-kids (M is a 4yr old boy and Iz is a 1.5yr old girl).  Before I left my mom’s on Thursday she asked the kids to say goodbye to me.  M was watching a cartoon on the TV and was oblivious to anything else.  My mom and I started watching his face and it was very fascinating and entertaining.  He had so much expression in his face.  The cartoon was just a normal cartoon suitable for young children.  I think that a toy was broken or someone wasn’t sharing or something.  M’s face kept changing as we watched him.  At first he looked like he was going to cry and then all the muscles in his face would start to relax and he would look calm and peaceful again.  It went back and forth a few times as things happened in the cartoon until the end when he looked completely content and happy because all was well in the cartoon again.  I don’t think that I’ve ever watched a kid like that before.  Maybe he’s just more expressive than most kids but I think that I could watch him all day and be entertained.

Today I babysat my niece and nephew.  Since it was rainy I decided to take them to a place that sells honey and does tours and gives info about honeybees.  There is also a bug room with tarantulas, scorpions, stick bugs, beetles, crickets…  My sister took them one other time but they had to leave because my sister couldn’t handle being in the bug room.  Everything is in cages but it still freaks her out.  The kids loved it today.  We were in there for a long time.  We also got to sample lots of honey and see the honeybees and learn about them.  It was a fun day.  The kids were crazy and full of beans after I got them home.  At first I thought that it was the honey but it was my niece who was the craziest and she didn’t really have any honey.  It’s always tough to find the balance between letting them be goofy and crazy and also making sure that no one gets hurt.  Luckily we managed today. 

I don’t envy parents very often.  Today I was thinking about how difficult it is to be fair with children.  It’s hard to spend equal time with them and to make sure that you don’t give one more attention that the other.  When both of them are trying to get me to go see something with them I feel bad because I have to choose between them at that moment.  I worry that I will accidentally choose one kid more often than the other.  Kids pay attention to that kind of thing and I would never want to make one of them feel bad.  I can only imagine how hard it is for a parent when even I find it difficult. 

My 4 yr old niece is a very cool, very witty and very original child.  She is always saying things that are quote worthy.  Often she says things that seem wise beyond her years.  Here are a couple of recent ones:

After the eye fell off of a stuffed dog my sister put it in her pocket.  My niece says “He’s got his eye on you”.

Last week: “Your heart stops beating when you die but you can still love”

A few months ago:  “God talks to me at night.  It’s magical.”        

I’m not enjoying marathon training this week.  I had a terrible run on Friday.  I had had a long break between long runs so I should have been well rested and it should have been a good run.  I only had to do 2.5 hrs.  I chose my route and felt not great but not bad for the first 6+km.  My legs felt tired and I didn’t have a lot of energy but I was able to run. My stomach started to bother me and I had to stop at a bathroom around 8k.  It didn’t help my stomach.  I took some walk breaks and tried to keep running.  My legs were feeling worse and my right knee was aching.  It’s almost like my whole right leg in the knee area aches.  I can’t even pinpoint a spot but it’s really uncomfortable.  After about 12k I ended up mostly walking the rest of the way home.  That night my legs felt really tired considering that I’d walked about 8 or 9k and had only ran 12k.  I’m not sure that they’ve felt that tired even after some of my longer runs.  I still don’t feel great and my ankles are hurting me again as well.  I don’t know what is going on.  Maybe it’s because I ate away from home on Wednesday and Thursday.  I’m going to try to be extra strict with my diet this week and hopefully the aches and pains will settle down before my next long run.  I don’t want to be worrying so close to the marathon.

I signed up for another counselling course that starts next week.  I’m hoping that I’ll enjoy it as much as the last one.  I actually had to apply to get into the counselling program at the college in order to take this course.  I’m not sure if I’ll finish the program or not.  I enjoy learning but I don’t want to take more than one course right now because I’m still hoping that I’ll find a job.  I’m also still looking into a holistic nutritionist career and starting school for that in the fall.  The more that I look into it the more I worry that I won’t be able to make a living off of it after I’m done the schooling.  I will most likely have to be self employed and will have to find my own customers.  That kind of scares me totally freaks me out.  But I don’t want fear to stop me.  I want to be realistic and practical but I don’t want to not do something just because I’m scared that I won’t have the skills to make it happen.  I worry about finances while I’m in school too.  It will drain my savings and possibly put me in debt and that makes me anxious.  I hate debt.  But I’ll keep researching and praying and hopefully I’ll figure things out and be at peace with a decision soon.      

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